My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
