So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
