woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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