If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
