One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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