Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
