matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
