Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
