Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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