oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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