I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
