Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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