his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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