There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
