I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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