ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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