Fuck appropriateness.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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