if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
