I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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