Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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