You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
