Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
