I can text with my tongue
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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