so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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