watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
be right there i have to get my cape
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize