My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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