I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize