Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
