Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
