just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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