Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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