youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize