I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Enjoy the penises
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
FUCK WHALES
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
