Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yo dont text me then not text me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
