my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
