You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize