Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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