I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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