Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
