I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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