I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
