i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
