I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
