Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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