Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize