I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
