There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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