so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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