Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish there were birth control emojis
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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