I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
