Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
