I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
