Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
