We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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