If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
