Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
