I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
