I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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