you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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