i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we should paint friendship bongs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
