He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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